| ShortCuts© |
October 28, 2011 |
Column 737
This week's column: #776 |
Previous Columns |
| April 26, 2013 #775 |
| April 5, 2013 #774 |
| March 28,2013 #773 |
| March 9, 2013 #772 |
| February 22, 2013 #771 |
| February 8, 2013 #770 |
| January 25, 2013 #769 |
| January 11, 2013 #768 |
| December 21, 2012 #767 |
| December 7, 2012 #766 |
| November 23, 2012 #765 |
| November 9, 2012 #764 |
| October 26, 2012 #762 |
| October 12, 2012 #761 |
| September 28, 2012 #760 |
| September 13, 2012 #759 |
| August 31, 2012 #758 |
| August 10, 2012 #757 |
| July 20, 2012 #756 |
| July 6, 2012 #755 |
| June 22, 2012 #754 |
| June 8, 2012 #753 |
| May 25, 2012 #752 |
| May 11, 2012 #751 |
| April 28, 2012 #750 |
| April 14, 2012 #749 |
| March 30, 2012 #748 |
| March 16, 2012 #747 |
| March 2, 2012 #746 |
| February 17, 2012 #745 |
| February 3, 2012 #744 |
| January 20, 2012 #743 |
| January 6, 2012 #742 |
| December 23, 2011 #741 |
| December 9, 2011 #740 |
| November 25, 2011 #739 |
| November 11, 2011 #738 |
| October 28, 2011 #737 |
| October 14, 2011 #736 |
| September 30, 2011 #735 |
| September 16, 2011 #734 |
| August 12, 2011 #733 |
| July 29, 2011 #732 |
| July 15, 2011 #731 |
| July 1, 2011 #730 |
| June 17, 2011 #729 |
| June 3, 2011 #728 |
| May 20, 2011 #727 |
|
 A GROANER
How about a real bad
joke to start your day, I mean a real groaner! Here goes!
What do you get when you mix milk of
magnesia with vodka?........
A Phillips screwdriver!
MORE ON SMOKED MEAT
 We never thought that
Smoked Meat Sandwiches could stir up such a controversy. We have had letters
from California, Whistler BC, Calgary AB, Miami FL, The Bronx NY and several
from right here in Halifax NS. In fact, a gentleman in Santa Rosa California
who agrees “whole heartedly” with me orders a full brisket form Schwartz’s
Delicatessen in Montreal two or three times a year. He orders the ‘full meal
deal’ with a couple of loaves of rye bread, dill pickles and oil & vinegar
cole slaw. Fedex gets it to him in two days just in time for his “Montreal Deli
Party”. Our Santa Rosa reader owns a steamer so he can heat the entire brisket
and then he hand slices it for his guests. Yummy!
We have a Calgarian
who is a mis-placed (or should that be dis-placed) Montrealer who claims that
Calgary has a restaurant that sells Smoked Meat sandwiches “just like
Montreal”, nah, I don’t believe it Fred. You see, Fred left Montreal, lived in
Halifax for many years and then moved to Calgary. After all that time he
must have lost all of his smoked meat taste buds.
I promise that this
will be my last rant or rave on smoked meat!
WHAT’S A CUBIT?
I
thought that it might be fun to get a little religious this morning. No, you
don’t have to open your prayer books or your hymnals; I just thought that I
would throw some biblical trivia at you.
Remember
the guy that built the Ark? Noah, right? Well, apparently God warned him about
some oncoming rain. Maybe that’s why our weather prognosticators think that
they are god-like. Well, it seems that God was a lot more accurate in her/his
forecast.
Anyway,
God told Noah to build this boat and sent down a set of specifications. The
dimensions that He/She gave Noah were in cubits. And we all know what a
cubit is, right? Wrong! I guess the only one that had a set of conversion
tables back then was Noah himself.
 Yes,
I know, Bill Cosby had a really great routine on this back in the 60's. I just
thought that it might be fun to carry it on.
I
threw it at a discussion group on the Net several months ago and it stirred up
quite a hilarious controversy. The crux of the various debates was that a cubit is 18 plus inches and is measured from the tip of your longest (2nd)
finger to the tip of your elbow.
Needless
to say, this brought up a whole lot of controversy. Religion versus science.
According to some scientists, Noah should have been an ape or some other type
of two-legged creature. Assuming the former and with knuckles dragging on the
ground, a cubit might have been 24 or more inches long, which is fine, for
the time.
A
Lumberyard Rip-off
But,
after the 40 days and nights (and we are not sure about that one either, are
we?) and the rains have settled down, some individual comes along and says “hey,
I’m going to build me a house”. She/he figures everything out, and goes down to
the local home improvement/building center and asks for 3,000 board cubits of lumber. Well, what the heck does the sales person do? Measure the customer’s
finger to elbow? Not. The owner of the lumberyard probably had a lot of small people
as sales clerks and people like Wilt Chamberlain as their buyers. They then
bought long cubits and sold short ones.
Standards
Now,
here’s a real poser! Did Noah invent the ‘cubit’ stick? And, if so, how
was it divided, into thumbs? And, one more, how wide did those board have to be?
 It
must be remembered that Noah had his son’s Ham, Shem and Japheth working with
him. Assuming that they each used the finger/elbow measurement, I am amazed
that the Ark even floated.
The
Ark was supposed to be 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide and 30 cubits high. In addition, God wanted a “door” set low on one side and it was to be
the entry to three chambers that are to be three “stories” high. Okay! Firstly,
what is a door and second, what the heck is a story? I thought that all of
these ancients lived in gardens or caves.
Well, I sure hope
that God lived close by, because Noah and the boys were bound to have a lot of
questions to ask. I know I sure as heck would. I sure hope that Noah and his
family had private quarter’s up-wind from the ark. All those animals? Phew!
Even a small cow barn get’s cleaned out twice a day.
Oh, and one more
thing! Looking back in history you might remember that amateurs built the Ark,
professionals built the Titanic.
DELTA
WILL STOCK SOMEONE’S WORKSHOP AS PART OF THE AMERICAN DREAM SHOP GIVEAWAY WITH
SCOTT PHILLIPS
 Grand
Prize Includes a 3 HP UNISAW® and 18” Laser Drill Press
 Anderson,
SC, October 4, 2011 – DELTA® Power Equipment
Corporation, a designer and manufacturer of stationary and benchtop woodworking
machinery and equipment, is partnering with Woodcraft, Scott Phillips of The
American Workshop and Porter Cable to bring woodworkers The American Dream
Shop Giveaway.
One
lucky winner will be outfitted with the woodworking shop of their dreams,
including more than $10,000 in new tools, woodworking machinery and
accessories. The winner will also be a guest of Scott Phillips on the set of
his public television show, The American Woodshop, now entering its 18th season.
The
prize package totals $14,000. The American Dream Shop tool prize
package includes a 3 HP Delta® UNISAW® with a 52 in. BIESEMEYER® Fence System
and mobile base; a 14 in. Band Saw; a 13 in. Portable Thickness Planer and
stand; an 18 in. Laser Drill Press; a 12 1/2 in.Variable Speed Midi-Lathe and
stand; and a 1-1/2 HP 1 Micron Dust Collector. To view the complete tool prize
list, visit www.woodcraft.com/dreamshop.
In
addition, the grand prize winner and a guest will travel to The American
Woodshop studio in Piqua, Ohio, for a one-day, two-night trip sometime
between April 1 and 14, 2012, to meet Scott Phillips and his wife, Suzy, and
spend a day observing the show’s production.
For
contest rules, prize list and entry forms, visit your local
Woodcraft store or www.woodcraft.com/dreamshop.
Entries will be accepted at Woodcraft stores, online and by mail from Sept.1
through Nov. 30, 2011.The winner will be selected in a random drawing on or
before Dec. 31, 2011.
Note: The
American Dream Shop Giveaway with Scott Phillips is offered only in the United
States and the District of Columbia to legal United States residents at least
18 years old.
The Greater Moncton
Woodworking Show
As you are
receiving this, the Greater Moncton Woodworking Show is opening and once again,
I will be in attendance. I will be doing two Seminars, one on Saturday Morning
and one on Sunday Afternoon. The Seminars will be covering “Clamps and
Clamping” and I would love to see all of you there. For those in the
Northeastern US, simply drive up to the north end of I-95 and hang a right to
Moncton. You’ll find us in the Agrena Complex.
This year the
show is honored to have Rob Cosman exhibiting his amazing talents with hand
tools. Rob’s work with hand chisels and planes is just amazing. Rob will have
his complete set of instructional DVD’s with him and I’m sure he will be happy
to autograph them for you.
The Greater
Moncton Woodworking Show is on October 28th, 29th and 30th,
be there.
Our
Sometimes Regular Book Review
If
you run out and buy this week’s selection today, you could have a bunch of
great Christmas gifts finished just in time for the Big day. This is another
“Best of” book full of fun carvings.
Handcarved Christmas
The Best of Woodcarving
Fox Chapel Publishing
144 Pages
You are going to love this
book! There are 36 decorations, ornaments and even Xmas gifts in this great
book. Like all books in the “Best of Woodcarving” books everyone of the
carvings in this book is fully illustrated from all angles. Full carving
instructions are provided as well as the ‘how to’ on the finishing touches.
From serious to whimsical like the Chris-Moose on page 15 or the beautiful
power-carved Dove ornament on page 30, you will be proud to display these at
Christmas.
There are angels and deer
and of course the proverbial Santa Claus in a number of shapes and styles. You
will want to carve every one of these over and over to keep and to give away. A
fabulous holiday collection!
Bosch
Weighing in at just 52
pounds, this Bosch15 amp, 10” Worksite Table Saw is the perfect tool to carry
to any jobsite. The new Model GTS1031 is a direct drive saw that puts out 4.0
Horsepower and turns the blade at 5,000 RPM’s.
The GTS1031 has an
18” wide ripping capacity on the right and 7 ¾” on the left. There is a 47°
bevel capacity and a -2° vertical. The Worksite Table Saw is made of sheet
steel with a heavy powder coating and measures 22 ½” wide x 20” deep, a very
compact tool for sure. But, don’t let its small size fool you. This (under
$400.) tool will keep up with the big boys in every way.
Easy to Carry
Bosch’s Worksite
Table Saw is well balanced with a padded carry handle built right into it. The
saw rests on the floor in the vertical position ready to tote to the next job. Unlike
most other “portable” power tools like compound miter saws and the like, the
Worksite has no protruding parts to stab your various body parts when carrying
it. Everything you need is in a niche on board the saw. The ‘Squarelock’ Rip
Fence is dead-on accurate and slides smoothly with just a finger touch. The
Smart Guard, Miter Gauge, Push Stick and Wrenches are all in place for
convenience and security.
The Worksite Saw
incorporates the new universal split design blade guard, riving knife and
anti-kickback pawls for maximum safety and are easily and quickly installed or
released without tools. The all steel tubular frame and table is made to take construction
site abuse.
 The Stand
Obviously the
Worksite Table Saw is a little low to the ground by itself for practical work
so Bosch has built the perfect Portable Saw Stand. The Model GTA500 is the ideal
mate designed specifically for the Worksite. The 14-pound folding saw stand
opens easily and ready to accept the saw without tools. A snap lock keeps the
saw secure and the splayed legs keep the saw steady on the jobsite.
Perfect Mates
These two ***** tools bring a whole new meaning to convenience on the job. The two pieces, saw
and stand, take up very little space in the pickup truck, the equipment trailer
or the jobsite and take only seconds to get ready for work.
We used the Bosch
Worksite to rip some spruce 2 x 10’s and it did so without a pause. Two inch
thick oak was fed into it and the Worksite ripped it nicely although a little
slower than the soft spruce. Crosscutting most 2x construction materials was a
breeze and ripping ¾” plywood was effortless for the tool. Construction type
work is what this tool is designed for and it aced everything we put in its way.
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